Knock it off with the Kickstarter.

First off. It’s a terrible look.

Feels like the guy on 28^th & 7^th with the sign “No Family, No Job, PLEASE HELP.” I give him change out of pity, not out of respect for his artistic integrity.

Here’s my problem.

Assuming you ARE in fact a DIY band or rapper or whatever it is you think you are (‘cus clearly you aren’t a pizza delivery person): Kids are paying $10-$16 per show to see you play. Add to that fees from ticketmaaster or whatever purveyor of paper or godforbid paperless (convenience charges?) tickets. Kids are paying $15 - $25 for your shirt. And kids are probably paying for your music in one form or another. Because, let’s be honest, despite what everyone wants us to think, the loyal fan is buying your CD or your LP, or three copies of your die cut 7 inch so they can sell one on EBay to make back the SHIPPING COSTS of the one they listen to and the one they keep sealed. So why are you asking them to give you ANOTHER $10? For your fucking autograph on CD? Then why do I need to go to your dumb instore? Or a personalized  tweet? I got a tweet for you, just for you: Fuck your @mother.

In the “olden days” – last year – bands actually worked jobs and made money so they could quit and go on tour and then come home to find new jobs and their friends sleeping with their girlfriends. Now bands are starting kickstarters for the sole purpose of not having to go back to work. Maybe it’s time to hang up the banjo if no one gives a shit about your band. Or WORK HARDER. Like all the millions of musicians before you that struggled and did what they could, when they could.

I don’t want to be thanked in your liner notes for $5. I wanna be thanked in your liner notes ‘cus you slept on my floor, you smelly pieces of shit.

If you can afford a publicist, or you can afford hotel rooms on tour, don’t ask your loyal fans for any more of their hard earned money.

One day this shit is gonna start to backfire and kids won’t let you continue to take advantage of them.

RESPECT YOUR FANS. Please.

And if you need money for whatever the fuck it is you need money for, ask your “Manager” for an advance. They believe in you, don’t they?